"I swear -- it seems like people are mad at me for having panic attacks and anxiety. My husband said [that] after 6 years he is tired of me still having [attacks]. My son is angry with me for getting sick. My daughter is really kind about it. They are both young and may not understand the whole situation. I have had friends tell me to get over it, and that it is all in [my] head. If it was so easy to get over, I would be cured by now. Some people are so mean about being sick it makes me cry. I hate having this condition.
"My husband misses the things that we used to do. I think it is a hard conditon to relate to unless you suffer from it. I think the same thing goes for my son. He misses the mom that would fly on planes and loved to travel. The mom that would go and do fun things with him all the time. Frankly, I am annoyed with it myself, and I am the one going through it. I think the people we love get annoyed with us over time. They do not realize how hard it is to live with this. I do cry when everyone I know is going out, and I am having a bad day. I miss out on a lot of things. Every day is a new struggle to overcome, and I hope that I will win the battle in the end. I just wish more people would not be so quick to judge."
If you have panic disorder, agoraphobia or another anxiety disorder, you may be able to relate to Jane. Panic disorder is not easy to understand. Some days, you may feel almost "normal" and able to go about your daily routine. Other days, you may find yourself unable to complete even the simplest tasks. People who have never experienced recurrent panic attacks probably find the whole concept of panic disorder bewildering.
Understand Those Who Don’t Understand
Jane writes about missing activities because she is “having a bad day.” When you have panic disorder, your symptoms may occur without rhyme or reason. You may even find it hard to understand the various components of this illness. There are some things about panic disorder that are just unexplainable. So, imagine how difficult it is for others who have never had recurrent panic attacks to understand what you’re going through.
Help Those Who Don’t Understand
Jane has friends that tell her to “get over it" and that it is all "in her head." Her friends are probably not trying to be unkind or cruel. They are probably just ignorant about the causes and symptoms of panic disorder. There is ample evidence to suggest that there are strong biological, metabolic and genetic influences that contribute to panic disorder, although many may not be aware of this.
Panic disorder is an illness that does not just exist within one’s mind. You can’t make someone understand panic disorder. But you can provide them with information that will, hopefully, enlighten them.
Forgive Those Who Don’t Understand
If you’ve experienced people who can’t understand panic disorder or what you’re going through, remember that it is really their issue. Consider that they are only human and may not have the capacity to understand such a complex illness. If they say hurtful things out of their ignorance, forgive them because harboring anger and resentment will hamper your recovery. If you are having problems with a spouse or other loved one, you might consider talking to a therapist together.
Forgive Yourself
Jane writes, “I am annoyed with it myself.” It’s not uncommon for those with panic disorder to feel guilty or ashamed because of their limitations. But, the truth is you have an illness that you didn’t ask for and certainly didn’t cause. Be proud of what you have accomplished and focus on continuing your recovery.
