From the article: The Panic Secret
Many people with panic disorder or other anxiety disorders go to great lengths to keep their symptoms a secret. Although they may disclose their condition to a few select friends or family members, the majority of people in their lives may not have any knowledge about the difficulties they are going through. Many suffer quietly, feeling the need to avoid disclosing their secret at all costs. Both disclosure and secrecy may have certain costs and benefits. What do you think?
Choose Your Audience Wisely
- Don't those four words say it all? Some people are not capable of dealing with the news "I have a mental health disorder" in any way other than discomfort. Their own level of emotional maturity, or emotional intelligence, will determine how they deal with you. So be careful, and choose your audience wisely. Who has to know? Perhaps your boss, if you have previously proven your value; perhaps a co-worker, who must take on extra responsibility when you cannot work to your own fullest potential. That will depend on your knowledge of them, and your own judgment - remember, you are changing their picture of you forever.
- —linbarrett
Be Discriminating
- Don't expect everyone to understand. Years ago, I told my neighbor. She thought I should just forget it because it was all in my head. That made me feel weak which might be the way she wanted me to feel. Most people have no understanding of what a panic attack is, but they are willing to help you through one - in their way. When I try to make them understand that I'm usually only comfortable handling the situation by myself, they are put off. You simply have to know the person to decide whether to tell them.
- —Guest Rosemary Hobbs
My Darkest Secret
- For most of my life, particularly during my school days, I was in an almost constant state of fear and panic. If I attempted to explain this to friends, employers or my spouce, I was met with criticism. Others simply can not relate to such paralysis of fear. After 50+ years of alchoholism, failed relationships and job losses, I finally found counselling and medications that have almost totally freed me of fear. I suppose the understanding and medications simply did not exist when I was younger. It might still be difficult, but the resources are now more acessable. If they had existed when I was younger, my life would not have been as chaotic. I would say that trying to explain your plight to those close to you is much easier now.
- —nethinim
Honesty is the Best Policy
- I tried to keep my PD a secret, but it eventually got too cumbersome to keep making excuses. And, people started to come up with their own stories as to why I was no longer at work, church, etc...
- —Guest agoraphobiagirl
I am Not Ashamed to Tell
- I think it is better to tell people you have PD rather than to hide it. It's nothing to be ashamed of, and there are many people who have it. If others don't understand, that's their problem.
- —qsw
Help Them Understand
- I think it is better to tell. No one can understand it if you dont explain it .
- —Guest Toria
It's a Secret for Me
- It would be nice to share with others, but they may not understand. I keep my PD a secret.
- —Guest mary friedmann
Tell a Chosen Few
- Of course, it is not good to tell the general public, because they probably won't understand. You should tell your dentist, doctor and family. There is no need to tell anyone else unless, of course, you are in the middle of an attack.
- —Guest bill
True Friends Will Still Be There
- I think you should tell people. If they are true friends, they will accept you.
- —Guest kimmy1968
NO WAY - Don't Tell!
- I have shared this with others and received very negative responses. People tend to give you their "know it all" advice - "If you just do this you will be fine." I finally started saying if it were that easy, dont you think I would be cured! I have been in relationships were I have shared this too early, and I feel it was used against me. But, obviously those were the wrong relationships to be in. It's ok to share with a few select family members or really close friends.
- —clbrosseau
Cause? Control? Coping? Cure?
- I want to talk about it because I am always looking for ways to cope, and I am looking for answers. Is there a cause I have this? Healthy coping skills? How can I control it? Is there a cure? Well, for me I have had this for over 20 years. Medical people need to try and be way more understanding of this disorder. My experience is, its out of the blue, its situational, and it's a vicous cycle.
- —kkaarreenn
It All Depends
- It depends on who I'm talking to...and the situation.
- —Guest Barb Hewitt
Who Can You Really Trust?
- It is a terrible secret I keep from everyone, because I never want to be ostracised, humiliated, avoided etc. Instead, I let the world go past without me in it. My symptoms are too obvious to be in public. So, I will answer this question with a question. What is the caliber of those friends and relatives one is contemplating revealing their secret to, and what will they do with that information? Real support cannot be predicted,
- —blackemerald
Talking Too Much Isn't Good
- I don't think it is good to keep talking about it because it makes it worse -- at least for me. Talk with a doctor, a Pastor and God. They can help you. Friends and family usually can't help.
- —Guest Paula
Human Nature
- It is a burden to keep it secret, but that is what I think we have to do. Bottom line--no one cares, and they don't want to hear it.
- —Savig
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