To all I can help:
My name is Debbie, and I have been suffering from the fear of having a panic attack for 18 years now. My first panic attack came out of the blue; I was 14 years old, an excellent student with a good upbringing. But, one day, I had my first panic attack.
I was clueless as to what had happened to me.
For those 75 seconds of my life, I experienced the worst fear and nightmare anyone could possibly understand.
From that day on, I went from doctor to doctor. My mother was the centre of our community, so she forbade me to see a proper therapist, as it may affect her status. Eventually, a doctor put his finger on what I was having: panic attacks. I was so happy there was an actual name for my feelings as I truly thought I was going insane.
Behind my mothers back, at the age of seventeen, I went to my first therapist. He did not make sense, so I tried another and found the perfect doctor for me. He put me on very low doses of Prozac and Urbanol (clobazam) and spoke to me about how to handle my illness.
During the next years of my life, I was fine until I had my child. I had gone off all medication during my pregnacy and when my baby was born, I had my second major panic attack, leaving me more vunerable this time, as now I had a child. I felt unfit, lazy, nervous all the time. I was put back onto my medication, yet it took 4 weeks to work.
Still, I had a problem, Now I was scared to death of having another attack. I refused to drive anywhere and became housebound, making millions of excuses to my hubby why we should not go out.
Then, one day , after reading many books, I found a book by Jerilyn Ross: Triumph Over Fear.
Wow -- that's all I can say.
She taught me via the book:
- all about self control
- about the fact that one cannot go crazy from a panic attack
- about the fact that the attack only lasts at the most 10 minutes at its peak time
- how to change my thoughts to positive thoughts
- that people do help and are nowadays aware of panic attacks
My doctor also gave me Ativan as an emergency tab, meaning, only to take it if I am having an attack. I have not taken one yet, although he did make me try 1 mg under my tongue in his office to see if it worked. And it does work, especially the one you put under your tounge. It takes 4 minutes until it works, but it does work. Because my doctor made me try the Ativan to see that it worked, it made me trust him and gave me a solution should I have an attack.
Yet, I have not taken one yet.
My advice is that, it is all in the mind; we have an attack and then we fear the next attack that may or may not come along. I decided to live my life after reading that wonderful book.
I now live my life, love myself and my new attitude.
If any one would like some tips or advice please contact me on dbutcher@mweb.co.za
I am here for you.
God Bless,
Debbie
