About.com Health's Disease and Condition content is reviewed by Steven Gans, MD

dcmhlt@goconnect.net

Like so many others in this world, I suffer from anxiety. I have suffered with this debilitating disease for about 12 years now. It has taken me this long to get to the starting point of recovery. I have done the circuit around the list of health professionals more than just a few times now! Ironically, it has taken only myself to get to the start of my recovery.

There was not a single doctor, psychiatrist, psychologist, counsellor, social worker or any other from the theory side of the fence who could or would help me the way I needed to be helped. Oh, the drug prescriptions were plentiful, but who really wants to live the rest of their lives taking drugs when we don't really know what it is going to do to our bodies in the long run? (I figure if you have a hard time pronouncing it, it can't be good for you really !)

The most bizarre thing about my story, is that a massive panic attack (the worst I had ever experienced) was what set me on my way to a "normal" life. At 28 years old and being a mother to 3 children, having an attack like I did on this particular day, I pleaded with my doctor to put me to sleep so I didn't ever have to wake up again. I just couldn't do it anymore. Not living one waking moment without having to fight to stay on top... not having one moment to myself to take in my surroundings and appreciate being alive... not ever being able to sigh in relaxation. I was a prisoner in my own body. What I would have given to have just one day without having to fight to stay in control. Just one day...

When the tornado hit me, it almost took me away for good. Then, it just hit me one day after trying desperately to stay sane: I didn't have to live like this. Something as simple as that thought was what turned me around. I DON'T HAVE TO LIVE LIKE THIS! Geez it felt good to think and feel that.

I am still currently on medication to keep it under some sort of control, until such times as I know that I am ready to face it head on -- not run from it like I have tried to do for oh so many years. I realised that having anxiety is just like having diabetes. You have to change your lifestyle and your attitude to life to be able to live "normally."

With anxiety, the biggest hurdle you have to get over is the fact that we falsely believe that one day we are going to "get over it" (does that sound familiar ?!) The truth hit me fairly hard, but once I accepted it, I started on a new road... one that isn't as hard to deal with as the one before. So, ok... I have anxiety... it's with me for life... do I run? Or do I fight back and not let it beat me? I most definitely fight!

There are so many ways to deal with it as a part of your life, and there are so many ways to learn to cope. Medication definitely has its place and is very necessary in the early stages. But with a little help in the right direction, things like meditation, yoga, breathing exercizes, etc., can really improve your quality of life beyond comparison.

Allowing myself to have goals and inspirations to work towards is another thing that has helped me. I am in the process of going back to full time study to do psychology and behavioural science. I want to help people like myself. I know how hard it is and I know it is also possible to turn your life around.

The most important thing to remember, too, is... you are never alone. There is always someone out there who will at least listen. Don't be afraid to admit that you suffer. There are a lot of ignorant and naive people out there who will tell you to "just get over it," but rest assured that they are the ones who probably have more problems than you!!

I would love to hear from anyone who suffers anxiety, either in recovery or full blown attacks. I am happy to offer a knowing ear or just help you take your mind of things for a while. Last of all, I just want those of you who feel desolate and helpless, please, as hard as it is to see right now, there is ALWAYS a light at the end of the tunnel. It just hides around the bends sometimes... but it always there waiting for you. I promise!