Tips for Supporting a Loved One With Panic Disorder and Agoraphobia
- Find out what you can about panic disorder and agoraphobia.
If you have never had recurring panic attacks, it may be hard to understand the difficulties your friend or loved one is going through. In order to be a good support person, it is important that you understand the many complexities of panic disorder and agoraphobia. The fear an agoraphobic experiences is not just nervousness or feeling a little anxious. It is part of a biological and psychological process that is far beyond these limits and is often life-changing.
- Build trust to help recovery.
To be a good support person, the agoraphobic must be able to feel an alliance with you. He or she must trust that you will accommodate his or her limitations without judgment. If you’re out with your friend or loved one in his or her fearful world, he or she must know that you can, and will, provide the assistance he or she needs without question.
- Don’t try to direct the agoraphobic’s recovery.
You may feel you are helping your friend or loved one overcome his or her fears with excessive prodding. But, this is, likely, to worsen feelings of anxiety, shame and embarrassment, leading to concealment of symptoms and hindering recovery.
Your friend or loved has felt a loss of control due to the intense symptoms that are being experienced. By allowing him or her to determine when he or she is ready to embark on fearful situations, you are giving back some of that lost control. You are not prolonging the agoraphobic’s problem by accommodating his or her limitations.
- Don’t assume manipulation.
It’s often hard to understand why an agoraphobic may be able to do something one day, but not the next. He or she may go to a restaurant several times, then start to avoid restaurants, followed by resuming this activity. Or, he or she may be able to drive to certain places some days, but not others. This is not likely to be manipulation. These behaviors are common because the basis of the fear your loved one is experiencing is on the fear itself. In other words, your loved one actually fears the frightening symptoms of having a panic attack. Because panic attacks are triggered by biological, psychological and environmental influences, it is not uncommon for symptoms to vary from day to day, or even from morning to night.
- Don’t view the agoraphobic as “weak”.
Living in a world of fear, day- in and day-out, is not an easy proposition. Every time an agoraphobic ventures past his or her safe zone, he or she is showing you monumental strength.
- Take Care of Yourself.
Balancing your roles as support person, concerned loved one and an individual with his or her own needs can be difficult. It is not uncommon to experience feelings of anger, resentment or a sense of helplessness as you navigate these often conflicting and multifaceted roles. It is important that you take time to tend to yourself and:
- Know your limits and ask for help when you need it
- Maintain a healthy diet
- Get proper rest
- Manage your stress
- If you’re feeling overwhelmed, it may be helpful to find a caregiver support group or talk to a professional.
