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Difficult Families and the Holidays

Coping When You Have Panic Disorder

From Cathleen Henning Fenton, for About.com

Updated: November 29, 2007

About.com Health's Disease and Condition content is reviewed by Steven Gans, MD

Travel, shopping, and socializing are important holiday activities for many people. For people with panic disorder, these activities may cause more than the usual holiday stress because they are challenges at any time of year. If you add the expectations of a difficult family to the mix, then the holidays may seems impossible to bear.

Because holiday stress comes up often on the About.com Panic Disorder Forum, our community members have come together with some excellent self-help suggestions for coping with family during the holidays. These suggestions are a great starting point for finding out what may work for you.

The key to most of these suggestions is to take care of yourself. Self-care means planning ahead. Make an effort to sit down and think about what you can and cannot do. Maybe you can push yourself to do one new thing this year. Then figure out how you can make the rest as simple as possible. If you read these suggestions from our community, you will meet people who have found ways to find joy in the holiday season, while facing some of the more difficult aspects of panic disorder.

Be Assertive

Stand Up for Yourself - If family members are criticizing and arguing year after year, it may be time to stand your ground.

Saying No - When everyone is making demands of you this holiday season, reduce stress and enjoy the season by saying no

Remove Yourself from the Situation

Setting Boundaries - Find ways to leave hectic parties and family gatherings. Have a place where you can be alone for a while or even stay somewhere else, other than with family the entire time.

It's OK to Move On - When someone hurts you, even a family member, it's OK to walk away and leave.

It Takes Strength to Walk Away - Leaving a hurtful situation is not a sign of weakness. It usually takes more strength than staying and being the "punching bag."

Be a Loving Person

Prepare With Love - Keep the meaning of the holidays in your heart and mind as you prepare and make plans.

Volunteer With Your Family or On Your Own - Volunteering may provide a change of scene and focus for your family, thereby diffusing the usual tensions. And by helping others, you all may find new meaning in the season.

Give the Gift of Your Love - Stressed about gift-giving? Maybe an "I Love You" is enough.

Simplify

Make It Simple - You don't need to do it any way but your own.

Stay Home

Treat Yourself Well If You Stay Home - If you stay home, be good to yourself and celebrate.

Find Other Times to See Extended Family - Maybe the holidays are not a good time to do all that traveling and visiting. Staying home is an option. You can see everyone at other times of the year.

They Still Will Love You - If you do decide to stay home, remember that the people who love you will continue to love you. Your loved ones will respect your decision.

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