- When I make a mistake, what do I say to myself?
- When I experience symptoms of my disorder, how do I react? Do I feel like a failure?
- When I look at myself in the mirror, what do I think?
- Do I like myself?
How you think about yourself defines your self-esteem. How you see yourself defines your self-esteem. If you are hard on yourself when you make a mistake, if you don't like what you see in the mirror, if you feel like a failure every time your anxiety relapses, chances are you have low self-esteem. You probably don't like yourself all that well. If you don't like yourself, it may be difficult to believe that recovery from your anxiety disorder is possible.
Low self-esteem and anxiety may become a vicious cycle. Perhaps low self-esteem is one cause of your disorder. Perhaps years of battling your disorder have led to low self-esteem. It really doesn't matter which came first because, either way, the two are feeding on each other now. Eliminating one problem won't necessarily eliminate the other, but working on both will bring you further along the road to recovery.
Low self-esteem doesn't change to high self-esteem over night. However, the acts of being good to yourself and compassionate towards yourself will help immensely. These are acts which you may practice every day by being conscious of how you "speak" to yourself. If you have low self-esteem, there's a good chance that you are much harder on yourself than you are on other people.
Would you get angry with someone else for having an anxiety relapse? Then why get angry with yourself? Think of the words you use to comfort your friends when they relapse and give yourself the same treatment. This is a technique you may try whenever you are having critical thoughts towards yourself. You might not believe those comforting words at first, but time and practice will make a difference.
The main problem with changing low self-esteem is recognition of the problem in the first place. You might not notice that you are being critical of yourself. You might not see the connection between your self-criticism and your anxiety. Take some time to notice how you talk to yourself. You might carry a small notebook with you to write down some of these thoughts. In the same notebook, write kind, comforting words you may say to yourself when you start to beat yourself up.
Besides the techniques mentioned here, you may find more ways to improve self-esteem in the following articles:
- Better Self-Esteem from The University of Texas at Austin Counseling & Mental Health Center
- Twelve valuable steps to raise your self-esteem by Judith B. Waldinger
